A big round of applause and the show came to an end. I wasn’t happy that it did. Despite the fact that it was the most unexciting thing that I could watch at any point in my lifetime – Big Boss II. I had nothing else to watch on television. I looked at the clock. 12:30 a.m. I wondered why time stands still only at the worst of times. I reckon that’s a relation you will always have with it. It stops right when you want it to scram its way to glory.
I wanted to leave for the trek. We had decided to gather together at Mulund station and catch the last train to Karjat at 1:27 a.m. We were heading for Nakinda, a trekking spot close to Asangaon. The plan was to reach the foot of the mountain. Take some rest. Start trekking. But before everything else, everyone was to reach the station on time. As expected, none of them did. Me, included.
I wanted to leave for the trek. We had decided to gather together at Mulund station and catch the last train to Karjat at 1:27 a.m. We were heading for Nakinda, a trekking spot close to Asangaon. The plan was to reach the foot of the mountain. Take some rest. Start trekking. But before everything else, everyone was to reach the station on time. As expected, none of them did. Me, included.
We were 9 of us, all put together. 2 girls in our bunch forced themselves in to be a part of the trek. We asked them not to join us, knowing their capabilities to even walk. Trust me, I wasn’t judging. One of them – sluggish, wanted to be a part of everything that happens in and around the bunch. The other one always said that she’s won a zillion races in her school and got a trillion medals for it. She was trying to show off her credentials to come for the trek. When I had gone to her place, I could see all the possible dresses in the world. I thought, the medallions must be hidden behind them. Anyhow, our attempts to not let them come along went futile.The train arrived. All of us went every which way before we got in. I took a head count after we got in. One was missing. Akshay. I haphazardly looked around. One among us eccentrically looked at the opposite side of the entrance of the train. As if Akshay came IN from one end and went OUT from the other. I even pulled up a girl’s skirt to see if he was hiding under. For a guy of 5.1", IT IS POSSIBLE! I peeped out of the running train thinking that he would have been cut off at the station. I couldn’t see him there. One of us barked out, “Akshay…”, and immediately started laughing. The rest of us joined the laughter. We saw him conveniently sitting in the ladies coach. All of a sudden, we stopped. Our friend wasn’t alone. Standing inside the ladies coach was a policeman. Before the policeman, Akshay saw the lathi he was holding.
Akshay: Excuse me sir, my friends have only 400 bucks with them.
That was it. The conversation started off with one dialogue and ended at it. The policemen aren’t allowed to consider the “by mistakes” that (dumb) people (like Akshay) can commit. The policeman stuck his hand out, asking for the fine. We knew it would go straight in his pocket, and not the government’s. And obviously, we couldn’t have stopped him from doing so. If there would have been one word uttered more than what was required, his hand would have shown some real actions. After a lot of negotiation, we gave him 300 bucks. What a start to the trek, I thought! Akshay’s head didn’t bob up till the time we got down at Asangaon (except when he was sipping on beer).
The beginning of the long walk till the foothill started. It was just a pre-cursor to the even longer climb.
We reached the foothill after walking a good 2 hours. The road was too dark. Luckily we had carried our torches along. We knew it’d have come handy even while climbing the trek. I was to lead the bunch, despite my awful memory. I was the only one who had gone there before (once). The problem – Even if I had gone there thrice, I wouldn’t have remembered. It was too much for my head to register. I faintly recollected of some shrine located at the foothill. In a proud manner, I told my friends about it while we were walking. Right after we arrived, I realised that the shrine was at some other mountain’s foothill. I told them that this time around I’d just taken a different route, a shorter one.
From where we stood, the mountain looked perpendicular to the ground.
Akshay: Oh, we haven’t got ropes to climb this.
No one chose to say anything, except Santo.
Santo (With raised eyebrows): The first train back home is at 4 in the morning.
Akshay drowned his head into his t-shirt and tagged along with the rest.
The mountain climb was tough. We were about one hour into it and one girl gave up (The one who’s won gazillion medals in her school running races).
Kirti (With a tired face): Santo, when is the first train you said?
Santo (Arrogantly): Screw that. Do you know the way back?
Kirti (Innocently): Can anyone not come back with me?
There suddenly rose a feeling of inconvenience among the gang.
Avi: Kirti, at least now will you tell us the truth?
Kirti: What truth?
Patel: About the medals that you’ve won?
Kirti made an irritated face, as Nandini broke out.
Nandini: Chuck it guys. That’s not important now, is it?
I was relieved that someone stopped the silly argument. We moved on. Kirti struggled her way through, but she was inspired to walk more by Nandini. More than anything, I felt that it was gossip that made them forget about the “walking” part. We were half way through as we all decided to take a break. The girls (Akshay and Kirti) behaved as if we had reached the peak of the mountain. They spread their legs out and slept back on the ground.
A quarter of an hour passed by, resting. Only when we decided to move ahead, the girls, to their surprise, came to know that the climb wasn’t done yet. Kirti was getting used to the walk. For Akshay, a 15 minute break got him used to that.
It was 5 in the morning and the sun was just about to rise. The view was beautiful from the tall mountains. We could see some majestic waterfalls far off in a distance. The greenery around us was just over-whelming. A heart patient would have been cured just looking at the marvellous sight, I thought. Cancer patients as well, in some minor cases.
I craved to visit a waterfall, although that wasn’t the part of the itinerary. My mind started recollecting. It could hardly think of any waterfall that fell on the way to the peak. I asked everyone if they were ready for a change in the plan. Majority wins – and, we were enroute to “some” waterfall!
I asked all of them to rest for a while. I thought, I could check out a few paces away and get back to them. I started walking up the hill. Akshay, of all the people, seemed to be excited to join me. He tagged along.
As I was walking, I already started imagining the happy faces of everyone. Each one praising me for searching a wonderful waterfall, and blah, and blah! I was happy that I had decided to find one.
We had walked for almost 20 minutes.
Akshay: Would you remember the way back?
Me (Jokingly): I thought you were dropping breadcrumbs along the way.
Akshay: What? I got only chips.
Me: It’s fine. I remember.
At some distance, I could hear a flow of water.
Me: 10 more minutes, I guess.
I could see the delight in his eyes. Following the sound and my instincts, we reached. Nowhere. The intensity of the noise, after a 10-minute walk, was the same as it was before. Akshay suggested walking in the opposite direction. I had no other option than agreeing to him. Without being too sure in which direction we were walking, we went on.
We walked for a while in the opposite direction and realised that we were heading somewhere close to nowhere, again. Everything looked like we had seen them before. Every boulder looked like that we had seen them before. In a mountain (when you start getting the feeling of being lost), it all looks the same. Yes, we were lost!
I looked in all directions. I couldn’t see a single soul. None of our friends were to be seen anywhere amidst the greenery. The insects were green as well. Akshay thought they are cousins of chameleon who camouflaged themselves to look green. With all the irritation in my head, I started yelling names.
Me: Santoooo!
Akshay: Aviiiii…
Me: Santoooooo…
Akshay: Kirtiiii…
Me: Aviiii…
Akshay: Mummmmy…
I gave a whack on his head, “Chutiya hai kya?”
Akshay couldn’t stop his tears from rolling down.
Akshay (Trembling voice): I should have used the chips. Now how do we go back?
Me: Don’t worry, it should be simple. If we start walking down the hill, we’ll reach somewhere safe. And, please stop crying.
Akshay wiped his tears, took a lungful of air and gave a courageous look. He started behaving as if World War III was just around the corner. The rapid change in his attitude looked funny. I couldn’t control my laughter.
Me: Ayyye, chutiya hai kya?
We started walking down the hill. Rolling down, rather. Slowly, but steadily, it started becoming a tougher task. Rolling down wasn’t that easy, you see? It was a bright morning. We hadn’t worn our watches. So, we assumed that it would have been around 7ish. Still, there was no sight of anyone. Nor there was any sign that we had seen, while climbing up. Akshay pointed at random rocks and said things like he slipped on that rock; he hit Avi with that rock, he urinated on that rock. Least I was expecting him to do was to go and check if the urine marks still existed. He did that. Anyhow, there were no signs that we had passed the same route before. Akshay got frustrated. And so was I. Akshay was desperate to go back home. Mentally, he was done with all the treks in his life.
I thought, the equation was simple. Walk down. At some point, you’ll reach the foothill. We walked down and after a point (and at all points), we reached greenery. I may be sounding fictional. But, that’s all we could find. No path, but greenery. I started getting terrified, a bit. I was hoping that there were no wild animals in the mountains. Akshay was busy looking for one. Nevertheless, he stopped peeing on the rocks. Every weird noise made him pee in his pants.
We saw shoe marks on the ground. Suddenly Akshay shouted out.
Akshay: Adidas! Adidas! We made it. We’re safe now.
Sounded more like, a discovery – Eureka! Eureka!
Me: Are you thinking it is Avi’s?
Akshay: Yes.
A hope sprang up. But, only for moments to last.
Me: But, does no one else in this world wear Adidas shoes?
Akshay: Yes, so many of them. See, even I wear one.
I gave him the wildest glare ever.
Me: Akshay, tell me honestly. Tu chutiya hai kya?
Akshay: Why?
Me (Enraged): These are your damn shoe marks! You were standing there 5 seconds back.
Mentally, I was done with all the treks in his life. I opted that I wouldn’t go for one if he was in it. Akshay’s head instantly sank into his t-shirt. Now, I had 2 horrible tasks at hand.
First – To stop asking him to talk (read: suggest).
Second – To get out of this mountain (read: mess).
We were swiftly walking down. It wasn’t scary. But, it was. Whatever it may be, the sight around was magnificent. We weren’t in a position to appreciate anything. There was beauty in the madness. Even that was green in colour.
We saw a hut at some distance. Akshay got excited and put his hands up to rejoice. We both were parching for some water. Mentally, even I was done with all the treks in my life.
Akshay (Breathlessly): 10 minutes by bus. What do you think?
Me: By the way, you haven’t answered my question yet?
Akshay (Innocently): Sorry.
Me: It’s fine. Chal, we shouldn’t take too long to reach that place.
We might have been walking, slipping and walking for 3 or 4 hours. We reached and fell down on the doorway of the hut. It was the most beautiful thing next to Cindy Crawford. At that point, the hut was first. It also had a small black piece of cloth tied next to the door. Similar to the black mole she has on her face, next to her lips.
Akshay: Uncle, can we get some water to drink?
The local man couldn’t respond to the language we spoke. He didn’t understand.
Akshay spoke in Marathi. Broken Marathi. Turned out to sound like Chinese. I tried next. Broken Marathi. At least I sounded like it.
Me: Aamhala… paani… pahije, please.
He understood. Uncle got water for both of us.
Akshay: Dhanyavaad.
Me (With hand actions): Uncle, mala khaali jaayche aahe. Raasta var madat kara.
Uncle (Laughing): Hyala kai karu?
I chuckled in my head. I would have asked him to keep Akshay for helping.
Me (With hand actions): Hyala pann khaali jaaycha aahe.
Obviously, I wouldn’t have left him there. He might be dumb. But after all, he’s a great friend.
Uncle: Mala pannas rupaye madat mhanoon pahije asheel.
Before anything, Akshay jumped up and spoke (In Chinese accent).
Akshay: Shambharach aahe pann tari.
Uncle nodded his head vigorously, signalling that he was okay with the deal. Akshay looked at me and winked. The wink indicated that he had taken care of everything that there was, and made the best negotiation ever. 100 was the only dough left with us.
Uncle went in got a stick with him. Asked us to follow him.
Akshay: Shouldn’t we ask him to take us up first?
Me (Inquisitively): Why?
Akshay: Our friends would be waiting for us ya.
Me: CHUTIYA HAI KYA?
The beginning of the long walk till the foothill started. It was just a pre-cursor to the even longer climb.
We reached the foothill after walking a good 2 hours. The road was too dark. Luckily we had carried our torches along. We knew it’d have come handy even while climbing the trek. I was to lead the bunch, despite my awful memory. I was the only one who had gone there before (once). The problem – Even if I had gone there thrice, I wouldn’t have remembered. It was too much for my head to register. I faintly recollected of some shrine located at the foothill. In a proud manner, I told my friends about it while we were walking. Right after we arrived, I realised that the shrine was at some other mountain’s foothill. I told them that this time around I’d just taken a different route, a shorter one.
From where we stood, the mountain looked perpendicular to the ground.
Akshay: Oh, we haven’t got ropes to climb this.
No one chose to say anything, except Santo.
Santo (With raised eyebrows): The first train back home is at 4 in the morning.
Akshay drowned his head into his t-shirt and tagged along with the rest.
The mountain climb was tough. We were about one hour into it and one girl gave up (The one who’s won gazillion medals in her school running races).
Kirti (With a tired face): Santo, when is the first train you said?
Santo (Arrogantly): Screw that. Do you know the way back?
Kirti (Innocently): Can anyone not come back with me?
There suddenly rose a feeling of inconvenience among the gang.
Avi: Kirti, at least now will you tell us the truth?
Kirti: What truth?
Patel: About the medals that you’ve won?
Kirti made an irritated face, as Nandini broke out.
Nandini: Chuck it guys. That’s not important now, is it?
I was relieved that someone stopped the silly argument. We moved on. Kirti struggled her way through, but she was inspired to walk more by Nandini. More than anything, I felt that it was gossip that made them forget about the “walking” part. We were half way through as we all decided to take a break. The girls (Akshay and Kirti) behaved as if we had reached the peak of the mountain. They spread their legs out and slept back on the ground.A quarter of an hour passed by, resting. Only when we decided to move ahead, the girls, to their surprise, came to know that the climb wasn’t done yet. Kirti was getting used to the walk. For Akshay, a 15 minute break got him used to that.
It was 5 in the morning and the sun was just about to rise. The view was beautiful from the tall mountains. We could see some majestic waterfalls far off in a distance. The greenery around us was just over-whelming. A heart patient would have been cured just looking at the marvellous sight, I thought. Cancer patients as well, in some minor cases.
I craved to visit a waterfall, although that wasn’t the part of the itinerary. My mind started recollecting. It could hardly think of any waterfall that fell on the way to the peak. I asked everyone if they were ready for a change in the plan. Majority wins – and, we were enroute to “some” waterfall!
I asked all of them to rest for a while. I thought, I could check out a few paces away and get back to them. I started walking up the hill. Akshay, of all the people, seemed to be excited to join me. He tagged along.
As I was walking, I already started imagining the happy faces of everyone. Each one praising me for searching a wonderful waterfall, and blah, and blah! I was happy that I had decided to find one.
We had walked for almost 20 minutes.
Akshay: Would you remember the way back?
Me (Jokingly): I thought you were dropping breadcrumbs along the way.
Akshay: What? I got only chips.
Me: It’s fine. I remember.
At some distance, I could hear a flow of water.
Me: 10 more minutes, I guess.
I could see the delight in his eyes. Following the sound and my instincts, we reached. Nowhere. The intensity of the noise, after a 10-minute walk, was the same as it was before. Akshay suggested walking in the opposite direction. I had no other option than agreeing to him. Without being too sure in which direction we were walking, we went on.
We walked for a while in the opposite direction and realised that we were heading somewhere close to nowhere, again. Everything looked like we had seen them before. Every boulder looked like that we had seen them before. In a mountain (when you start getting the feeling of being lost), it all looks the same. Yes, we were lost!
I looked in all directions. I couldn’t see a single soul. None of our friends were to be seen anywhere amidst the greenery. The insects were green as well. Akshay thought they are cousins of chameleon who camouflaged themselves to look green. With all the irritation in my head, I started yelling names.
Me: Santoooo!
Akshay: Aviiiii…
Me: Santoooooo…
Akshay: Kirtiiii…
Me: Aviiii…
Akshay: Mummmmy…
I gave a whack on his head, “Chutiya hai kya?”
Akshay couldn’t stop his tears from rolling down.
Akshay (Trembling voice): I should have used the chips. Now how do we go back?
Me: Don’t worry, it should be simple. If we start walking down the hill, we’ll reach somewhere safe. And, please stop crying.
Akshay wiped his tears, took a lungful of air and gave a courageous look. He started behaving as if World War III was just around the corner. The rapid change in his attitude looked funny. I couldn’t control my laughter.
Me: Ayyye, chutiya hai kya?
We started walking down the hill. Rolling down, rather. Slowly, but steadily, it started becoming a tougher task. Rolling down wasn’t that easy, you see? It was a bright morning. We hadn’t worn our watches. So, we assumed that it would have been around 7ish. Still, there was no sight of anyone. Nor there was any sign that we had seen, while climbing up. Akshay pointed at random rocks and said things like he slipped on that rock; he hit Avi with that rock, he urinated on that rock. Least I was expecting him to do was to go and check if the urine marks still existed. He did that. Anyhow, there were no signs that we had passed the same route before. Akshay got frustrated. And so was I. Akshay was desperate to go back home. Mentally, he was done with all the treks in his life.
I thought, the equation was simple. Walk down. At some point, you’ll reach the foothill. We walked down and after a point (and at all points), we reached greenery. I may be sounding fictional. But, that’s all we could find. No path, but greenery. I started getting terrified, a bit. I was hoping that there were no wild animals in the mountains. Akshay was busy looking for one. Nevertheless, he stopped peeing on the rocks. Every weird noise made him pee in his pants.
We saw shoe marks on the ground. Suddenly Akshay shouted out.
Akshay: Adidas! Adidas! We made it. We’re safe now.
Sounded more like, a discovery – Eureka! Eureka!Me: Are you thinking it is Avi’s?
Akshay: Yes.
A hope sprang up. But, only for moments to last.
Me: But, does no one else in this world wear Adidas shoes?
Akshay: Yes, so many of them. See, even I wear one.
I gave him the wildest glare ever.
Me: Akshay, tell me honestly. Tu chutiya hai kya?
Akshay: Why?
Me (Enraged): These are your damn shoe marks! You were standing there 5 seconds back.
Mentally, I was done with all the treks in his life. I opted that I wouldn’t go for one if he was in it. Akshay’s head instantly sank into his t-shirt. Now, I had 2 horrible tasks at hand.
First – To stop asking him to talk (read: suggest).
Second – To get out of this mountain (read: mess).
We were swiftly walking down. It wasn’t scary. But, it was. Whatever it may be, the sight around was magnificent. We weren’t in a position to appreciate anything. There was beauty in the madness. Even that was green in colour.
We saw a hut at some distance. Akshay got excited and put his hands up to rejoice. We both were parching for some water. Mentally, even I was done with all the treks in my life.
Akshay (Breathlessly): 10 minutes by bus. What do you think?
Me: By the way, you haven’t answered my question yet?
Akshay (Innocently): Sorry.
Me: It’s fine. Chal, we shouldn’t take too long to reach that place.
We might have been walking, slipping and walking for 3 or 4 hours. We reached and fell down on the doorway of the hut. It was the most beautiful thing next to Cindy Crawford. At that point, the hut was first. It also had a small black piece of cloth tied next to the door. Similar to the black mole she has on her face, next to her lips.
Akshay: Uncle, can we get some water to drink?
The local man couldn’t respond to the language we spoke. He didn’t understand.
Akshay spoke in Marathi. Broken Marathi. Turned out to sound like Chinese. I tried next. Broken Marathi. At least I sounded like it.
Me: Aamhala… paani… pahije, please.
He understood. Uncle got water for both of us.
Akshay: Dhanyavaad.
Me (With hand actions): Uncle, mala khaali jaayche aahe. Raasta var madat kara.
Uncle (Laughing): Hyala kai karu?
I chuckled in my head. I would have asked him to keep Akshay for helping.
Me (With hand actions): Hyala pann khaali jaaycha aahe.
Obviously, I wouldn’t have left him there. He might be dumb. But after all, he’s a great friend.
Uncle: Mala pannas rupaye madat mhanoon pahije asheel.
Before anything, Akshay jumped up and spoke (In Chinese accent).
Akshay: Shambharach aahe pann tari.
Uncle nodded his head vigorously, signalling that he was okay with the deal. Akshay looked at me and winked. The wink indicated that he had taken care of everything that there was, and made the best negotiation ever. 100 was the only dough left with us.
Uncle went in got a stick with him. Asked us to follow him.
Akshay: Shouldn’t we ask him to take us up first?
Me (Inquisitively): Why?
Akshay: Our friends would be waiting for us ya.
Me: CHUTIYA HAI KYA?
LOL man.... damn funny... and I can understand your misery... trekking with girls is a pain, to start with ;) they say choose your friends carefully, etc etc .. I say choose your trek partners even more cautiously. Please upload a link to the pictures, if any.
ReplyDeleteIts good Calling someone Chutiya & indeed instances suggested the right words.
ReplyDeleteRs 100 wala to fatang scene tha